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And a new novel novel is out by self-published romance maven and online bestseller D’Ancey LaGuarde. Known for expanding the traditional forms of the romance novel genre, the new LaGuarde excursion blurs the line between the adult imaginative erotica and cookbooks in We Made It One Night. A half-fiction half-cookery instruction manual half-witch’s grimoire that puts the chemistry into chemistry, the sensuality into home economics, and the magic into creamy aphrodisiac cheesecake. 

Alison: Oh my god. That’s worse than the tapestry. 

Meet Nigella, a fictionalised character based on the famous home chef, whose passion for cooking hearty food to be enjoyed by her friends at casual yet lavish dinner parties is only exceeded by her passion for sex. [Alison laughs] Travel with Nigella through entrees, mains, and desserts in her search for the one man who will whisk her heart away and clean the dishes of her difficult past. 

As you move through vegetarian options, you’ll meet Dale, a meaty viscount who lived more than three hundred years ago. His passionate love letters intersperse the measurements conversion section until a postmodern palimpsest brings him into the present after a bungled meringue opens a portal between times and unites two hearts destined to be together.

Will Nigella and her creamy breasts figure out the recipe to send him back to his own time in time to avert a terrible disaster? How many dishes can they sweep passionately to the floor as overcome by lust they bang on a batch of kneaded bread dough? Can Dale prove his love for Nigella and bring her back to his time, a time that truly appreciates a creamy breast and a lust for cast iron cookware? 

Find out in We Made It One Night, available now in the scraps bin of all commercial kitchens. 

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