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Sixteenth in D’Ancey LaGuarde’s set of time-travelling space adventure romance thriller novels, The Quartz Throne is set in the far future. High priestess Beglinker was raised on a convent planet to be The Chosen One, the only human with the ability to communicate with black holes, but when a fleet of monstrous hive mind lizards from the evil empire known only as The Bleak destroys her planet, she is fired off into space in a capsule, the sole survivor of her peaceful race of sexy nuns. 

Tom: Ok, this one actually sounds pretty good, this sounds pretty cool. 

One thousand years later, space mercenary Harjohn Flindersman finds her capsule floating in the vastness of The Forbidden Zone and rescues her in the hope of a reward. While Harjohn’s lack of deference due to a sexy nun slash Chosen One at first affronts the corseted Beglinker, he is reluctantly impressed by her surprising competence at basically everything, her sassy mouth, and her ability to communicate with black holes. Harjohn’s cynical approach to the world hides a hidden vulnerability, in a way that is similar to but definitely not infringing on the copyright of Han Solo. He agrees to help Beglinker in her quest for knowledge and vengeance, and their mutual distrust turns to mutual lust. When The Bleak arrests Harjohn for being a charming ruffian, Beglinker must rescue him in turn, temporarily summoning a black hole that then threatens to eat the universe. As a sexy nun, her ravening uncontrolled power can only be stopped by Harjohn’s love and she submits her power along with her virginity to the spaceman’s seductive love. [Tom groans. Tom: Oh god.] But the proximity to the black hole has cast them into a different time and place. Together they begin a long trek home in a way that is similar to but definitely not infringing on the copyright of Star Trek Voyager. 

Join Beglinker and Harjohn on their continuing adventures through The Forbidden Zone of Love. [Tom: There it is...]

Available now in all museum bookshops and all good fantasy book fairs except the one in Bath, who are being real douches about restocking. 

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