The Bugle Wiki
Advertisement

Thirty-fourth in LaGuarde’s ground-baking [sic] of series feminist detective historical romance noir thrillers with a supernatural twist. The Femme Falcon is set in the 'black-and-white' period of American history and follows the story of Hildeblanc, a gritty female detective dame with legs up to her hips and a taste for justice.

Hildeblanc is a hard-bitten ex-cop’s ex-wife, detectiving the mean streets of supernatural Chicago to make ends meet. She has a lust for justice and a mean right hook. She spends her nights fighting crime and her days sassily smoking cigarettes while sensually fondling her extremely phallic gun and waiting for crime o’clock. She’s getting by until Gramien walks into her life.

Gramian: A doe-eyed Sam with lips up to here and a face to match, he has a mysterious past, a wizard mob family, an ancient spell book, sixteen dollars in coins, and amnesia. They immediately have extremely consensual feminist sex and then Gramien cries manly-ly while Hildeblanc holds him and fondles her gun.

Hildeblanc must help Gramien to reclaim his memories and his rightful place as a mafia wizard prince while they explore their passionate connection all over the desk. Until they find out that Gramien is betrothed to be married into a different mafia wizard gang to broker a mafia peace. This is way above Hildeblanc’s pay grade but she demands and gets a pay raise so the plot can continue.

When Gramien is kidnapped by his betrothed’s hench-thugs, Hildeblanc must dive into the dark side of her feminine power which is just to the left of the vulva to rescue the man she’s rapidly realising she loves, but in an empowering way. A moving feminist masterpiece with a heartbreaking cameo from Hildeblanc’s godmother, the revenant ghost of Mary Wollstonecraft.

The Femme Falcon is available in all feminist bookstores and those tampon-dispensing machines in women’s public toilets.

Advertisement