The Bugle Wiki

Scotland is the leading member of the United Kingdom.  After pleading for England to help them with the administrative paperwork, Scotland has been free to launch its full war effort against the penguins.

The Scottish mainland is defended by 60ft tall robots in the image of the Queen Mother, wielding flamethrowing bagpipes.

Scotland is homeland to Tom the Producer.  He earned the title "the Producer" by putting up with Andy Zaltzman, and because of the size and frequency of his dumps.

The average life expectancy and IQ in Scotland is 24 due to the popular dish, the fudge rippled, deep fried lobotomy. The Scottish economy is based around this, to such an extent that the chief import is liver. (Not for eating, mind you) Scotland mainly exports casual racism, but has been known to sell rights to crappy rugby matches when times have been really tough.

The Scottish national football (soccer for you americans) team is one of the best in the world. It has won the world cup a record 6.7 times.

Scottish people generally stay in Scotland as the only neighbouring country is England (who' they despise) and in any case England is way too sunny for them as they are generally of a pasty, pale complexion with some colour coming from their freckles, with bright ginger hair.  They cannot stay in sunlight for more than 12 minutes or they cook and go ping. But as there is less sunlight in Scotland as there is at night, they'll be OK as long as they stay where they are...

Scottish Independence[]

Since "The Great Blag" of 1707 where somehow the Kingdoms of Scotland and England were united to create a country called Great Britain (can anyone imagine a time when the Scots and English wanted union?) the Scots having been shit-faced since 1707 on Whiskey have suddenly voted for a government whose main agenda is a Free and Independent Scotland with a referendum in place for late 2014.

Most of the English would like a vote too, but maybe the Scots will save their wee dram 'til after the vote and get out and vote YES for Independence. They could join the Euro and become proper socialsts! 

Scottish people
Fun and Racist Facts

  • Tom the Producer is from Scotland, so therefore he wears a kilt and sports a broadsword. FREEEDOM!
  • He also eats haggis
  • He was also allowed to be shot at by longbows at night in England

Fuck you Chris