The Bugle Wiki

The Bloody Bloody Ruskies[]

Russians for centuries have been the epitomy of crazy in the world

Enough said.


A long time ago a young Italian man peered into the future and saw the round orange, oily, leathery, face of Silvio Burlesconi bearing down on every woman in the country. The shock and terror of seeing this vision prompted him to switch his letters his w's became v's and he put y noises where it made very little sense. He went mad sreaming "Ivana get oughta here!!!" over and over and over again. People listened to his screams and gave him the nick name Ivan.

He and people who belived him fled to Spain. He peered into the future regarding the abysmal architecture and impending war with France, realised that hid descendents would be absolutly shafted and curse him for millenia. He travelled to england but seeing the devestation reeked by the two world wars and the eventual transormation into a 1930 Germany clone with Nick Griffin in charge. After fleeng to the righ after britain collapsed do to Goege the human chainsaw Osborn F#@cks Btitain up.

He went across the middle east and if he saw what we are seeng now and realised that this is not going to get any better, his physical and mental state deteriorated. He arrived in China with the thousands of men and women and children following him. The prospect of economic and military strength by the 21st century was desirable but seeing the staggering amounts of human rights abuses, the dead people, and at hte cost of sweat shop labour, rampant corruption, the fact that indefinite long term economic growth is ultimatly unsustainable.So on he wandered north to the frozen lay down and looked into the future. The massive wars bloody rebeloins, starvation, genocide nuclear waste torture and overall horrid history killed him on the spot. His followers believed he had died of hapiness. So they pitched up and stayed there. The descendents of this phsyco ruled russia for thousands of years. Until the Bolsheviks took over and thing went dick smashing, batshit. Stalin went like mad and now we have Putin this can't end well.

Fuck you Chris