The Bugle Wiki

Throughout history horses have been responsible for many of the great technological advances in civilization. From the wheel to the internal combustion engine without horses humans surely would either have perished by now or would have evolved into Brad Pitt. They formed the first organized armed forces and they were the original Knights of the Round Table.

They have been known to find chairs sexually exciting. Andy Zaltzman is known to have assisted a hourse in its 'chair finding', which is a coming of age task for young horses. To do so is seen as an unforgiveable taboo in the horse comunity, and serveral more conservative horse groups have considered joining the Impalas in their crusade against Zaltzman despite the recent outbreak in violence between the communities.


Although Impalas have long been thought to be the first organized quadrupeds archeologists have found remains of an ancient civilization of super-intelligent horses. However, due to the BES the discvery of these ruins has been hidden from the general public. These are the facts they have been able to determine.

  • They walked upright on their back feet.
  • They were a presumedly peaceful people for no remains of weapons were found at the site of the dig.
  • They had developed telekinetic powers, that is the ability to move objects with their minds.
  • Their digestive system had two stomachs - one for hay and one for carrots.

Fuck you Chris