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Donald Rumsfeld was one of the more prolific bumper sticker phrase coiners of the early 21st century. At his peak Donny was making up to 60 killer slogans a day.

Bumper stickers of note[]

Some of Don Rum's greatest slogans include such favourites as:

  • Muslims avoid physical labour
  • Keep elevating the threat (Which turned into a huge dance tune in the clubs of Basra)
  • Link Iraq to Iran (Debate rages as to the true meaning of this particular prophecy. Some scholars believe Rummy was encouraging the construction of a bridge between these two angry countries so that, like a dog whom is mistrustful of other animals since being forced to fight behind a butchers at three in the morning, they can learn to trust again. Others believe it may be a scrabble reference wherein someone had put Iran down on the board and if he had put Iraq down using A as the bridge he could have put Q on a triple letter score.)
  • You don't have to be crazy to work here but dangerously reactionary is a good start.
  • My other country is a mess.
  • Sacrifice equals victory (This is a particularly rare bumper sticker in the Don Rum canon as it was withdrawn after being discovered to be the mantra of the terrorist)
  • Asking questions is just another type of terrorism.
  • Honk if you're horny.
  • Go fuck yourself...go fuck yourself.

The Boo-Hooray list[]

In order to ascertain if a country was worth bumper sticker bile Rumsfeld created a Boo-Hooray list. In Rumsfeld 's Bumper Sticker and Short Sighted Political Policy House, Washington DC (RBSASSPPHWDC) his senior advisors were encouraged to Boo when certain 'bad' counties were mentioned and 'hooray' when good countries were.

A copy of the Boo-Hooray ratio is listed below:

Boo countries

  • North Korea
  • Afghanistan
  • Somalia
  • Iraq
  • Syria
  • Sudan
  • China
  • Zimbabwe
  • Russia

Hooray countries

  • America
  • India
  • Those Europe ones...not Russia though
  • Australia ....and the little baby Australia one next door.

Boo? Hooray? Controversy[]

The Rumster would get most perturbed if any senior staffers showed a sense of uncertainty in regards to their feelings towards a country. He would demand a declarative boo or hooray at all times.

As this procedure went on this caused a real issue. As people began to look into international issues increasingly more the boo? began to be heard more and more within the halls of the RBSASSPPHWDC. Pakistan was the best example of the boo? hooray? controversy. For many years Pakistan were firmly on the boo list for Musharraf's imposition of anti-democratic rule. However he went on to explain that his reasoning behind that was to protect governance from Taliban forces and to support America in their War on Terror (One of Rumsfeld's personal favourite wars) this saw the very first inclusion of a hooray? on Rummy's list.

Desert Island Dicks[]

Rumsfeld was the sole protestor against the short-lived radio show 'Desert Island Dicks' wherein a person of note would pick eight celebrities to be shipped off to a desert island and left to their own accord. Donald felt aggrieved he was picked every week and picketed the BBC with a number of pretty vehement bumper stickers until the show was closed down.