The Bugle Wiki
Barack Obama on the Primary

"I wish I was Berlesconi"

Big ears, bigger heart.

Barack Obama (nicknamed 'Efficient-Military-housing Charades-would-act-this-out-as-sounds-like-a-bomber' for short) was born in the year 2005 after the combined neural patterns of Americans had aligned so much that they were able to telepathically link up and create a hyper-being. The neural patterns in question were "Oh God not four more years of Bush". He is not in fact human, but a bio-synthesised mech who carries the same mantra as Bob the Builder, although his best friend isn't allowed to talk. At all. And he can't hop on him and have a ride like Bob does. Unless he wants to.

An alternate story of his birth and upbringing is told by some hard-core Obama supporters. In this version Obama was born to a virgin Israeli woman in the north side of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. They also contend that he has the power to walk over water, can heal (or alternatively bring back from the dead) ailing economies, and can exorcise the demons from Dick Cheney with the aid of an elder priest expirienced in the gaffe. It has been prophesised that when the world is in its greatest peril he will give us all our salvation from the ravages of High School Musical 4.

Certain members of the Great USA see Barack as an evil force of satan. This is definitely not true. However Barack is a keen B-ball player but had his backside smashed in by John Oliver of the Secret Semitic Society Still Hiding (SSSSH - founding member Anne Frank, though voicing the societies title nearly got them found several times)

Barack Obama's biggest influences are the 1980s "No-Wave" band MARS, former Irish footballer Tony Cascarino and Starsky (but not Hutch). He acknoweleged all three in his inaugaration speech, particularly praising Tony Cascarino for his help on the road (Tony Cascarino was Obama's original choice for Vice President, however he had to pull out due to a long running hamstring injury). He also called for change in the world economic system but most people missed this.

Since officially becoming Most Overrated Person on the Earth, Obama has been enthusiastically building up illegal detention centres in the hope of one day extracting socialist hate-cheese from them, possibly for use in a dirty bomb.

Fuck you Chris