The Bugle Wiki

Kenyans jumping at chance to vote

The 2007 Kenyan general election was held on 27 December 2007 because sometimes just watching Bond films between Christmas and New Year just doesn't cut it.

The most publicised and controversial fight was between (in the blue corner) current Presidential belt holder Mwai Kibaki of the Party of National Unity and (in the red corner) his opponent, the plucky underdog, Raila Odinga of the Orange Democratic Movement.

After a hard fought bout Mwai 'The Othaya Assassin' Kibaki was pronounced the victor in a controversial points decision. Doing a had one into the final round ahead on points so his loss was met with furious accusations of rigging the bout.

Violent aftermath[]

Entourages from both belligerents broke out into violence that broke out over many areas of Kenya.

Opposition leader Mr Odinga refused to tell people to calm down in Kenya saying "I refuse to be asked to give the Kenyan people an anaesthetic so that they can be raped." Many critics pointed out that it was lucky that he was not being asked to administer a rape anaesthetic to his people and, instead, was just being asked to tell them to calm down. Supporters of Mr Odinga pointed out that his aim was to clear up any doubt regarding the fact that if the issue of rape anaesthetics ever arise Mr Odinga's views are now emphatically clear.

Effects on tourism[]

The Foreign Office in Britain finally warned against non-essential travel, plunging hundreds of holidays into chaos and that was real tragedy: rich white tourists weren't able to chase after a leopard in a jeep. It was their story who was not being told with only a few brave souls willing to stand up for them.

The Foreign Office advice triggered a rush of radio phone-ins in Britain about to what extent travel insurance would cover these lost holidays and it takes real balls to hold a phone in about safari travel insurance the day after children had been burnt to death in a church. Real balls!